niezwykłe sny

I’m a survivor from the plane crash, which took place in the greenfields near Smolensk. Our stupid curiosity drove us to take a bird’s-eye view over the town and airport. I don’t know who I’m taking this trip with. The middle-aged lady has a fence around her russian-style wooden old-fashioned house equipped with videophone. We talk in russian and she promises to help us find the way home.
After a fifteen minutes walk platforms of Yaroslavl railway station appear; there’s a wooden toilet with this cute heart-shaped hole in the door, and a bit less cute, full of shit hole inside. People in this area don’t throw toilet paper out, they don’t drop it into hole-toilet, but they left it, shited, in the bin next to. Lady sitting on the stool, old, stinky and ugly russian hag, repeats loudly in strange language mix: tualet pyatdyesyat rhubliey, das leben ist kein ponyhof, a squadron of german youths raped me in the ruins of Stalingrad, I gave a birth for a wonderful blue-eyed and white hair twins, 50 rhubliey. Her name is for sure Yelizavyeta, and it makes her more terrifying and witchy by similarity to Dostoyevsky’s money shark in ‘Crime and Punishment’.
I get in, close my eyes, and she stands next to the door, she whispers to the heart-shaped hole: join us, trust us, we won’t make you suffer from starve, we won’t leave You thirsty in a day of heat, I am the morning and evening star and I will lead You to the brightness of tomorrow, because there’s a german blood leaking out of my sons’ wounds, and i don’t know if she’s a pharaoh, Moses or Goebbels.
And I only feel that every bite of the food they serve will poison me, every single drop of the drink they offer contains a trace of dangerous venom, and I will stay alive suffering of daylight and people’s voice. Then I wake up repeating silently, only making a slight moves with my lips: ‘what do you live for, huh? What for, wanker’, and in the fuzzy cloud of my dream quickly running away I see Yelizavyeta screaming: ‘when and where You will never expect, the smell of raspberries will bring You fear, pain and anxiety, and You will feel it with all the pieces of Your body, and in every thought in Your mind. And You will never be able to say, that You can’t prevent, what You can’t predict, because to stay alive you have to be a Master of Preventing Unpredictable’.